Focus

I know I've been gone, I know I should have checked in and said hi, I know that people care about what is going on. So here's the deal. I have been trying to figure out what to focus on. See a tragedy happened in my neighborhood, just a few steps away. A horrible tragedy, but not my tragedy. One that has consumed my neighborhood. It is hard not to get sucked into the whole thing when police are everywhere and helicopters are hovering about your head day and night. And then there were the reporters and looky lous. Aye, aye, aye...those vultures never left the area. People stood and stared at where it occurred. It all gave me the creeps and made me so angry. Angry that everyone tried to get their few minutes of fame and swarmed the reporters every time a camera showed up. Angry that it happened at all. Angry that it became such a news event. Angry that I am so angry. And then the churches got involved! Saturday night there were men in white robes from somewhere important wandering around pontificating among the native dancers playing their drums and the whole thing was caught on tape because every news station sent great big trucks with giant lights and many cameras to catch each and every reaction of every poor soul that chose to be there. It was ghoulish. Another event today at another church. Same coverage, same camera in faces, same quest for a few minutes of fame. Where were all these people before the tragedy? I am not letting myself off the hook either. Maybe it's true...humanity is only good in theory...
And me? Mostly I stayed away from home. I went to the Botanical Garden, visited with friends, spent time in the library. Chose not to spray in the backyard to avoid the helicopters. Yes, I am acting like a chicken shit. Yes, I didn't want to get involved in all of the speculation. Yes, I was so sorry it happened, but my presence was not what was needed to figure out what happened. Me staring at the place didn't make it go away. Yes, I am owning each and every judgmental statement I've made here. Yes, I am trying to figure out what I should be learning from the tragedy and my intense reaction to it. But mostly, I am trying to figure out what to focus on.

Not exactly cutting and spraying, but...

In my zeal to scour the internet and find any and everything related to stenciling, I came across this: http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=301135.0 It's a tutorial for doing watercolor stencil portraits. 3 of my favorite things.
Then I went here: http://weigh-anchor.blogspot.com/2009/04/tutorial.html and saw the marvelous things she has been doing. So coming off of the success I felt from the Stencilry class, I thought I would try it.
Here's what I came up with...
and then because I can't leave anything alone it became this:
I really loved the process, combines two of my favorite things and don't think I'm done but boy do I love doing this. I used Twinkling H2Os instead of regular water colors so it's sparkly in real life. Just like me!
So when the wind blows and I can't be outside spraying, know what I'll be doing?

Is it just me?

...or does the world need more pink and orange wrestlers? Class is over but I can't quit cutting and spraying...

Premium Birthday

When I was little, my birthday was not a big deal. I have one vague memory of a decorated cake but the decoration was a Mexican boy and a donkey so my guess is that is was a last minute grocery store purchase.
When I was 16, a tragedy happened to a family member and my mother asked that we not celebrate my birthday any more so that it wouldn't remind that person of what happened on my birthday.
When I was 18, I ate Mexican food, told my parents I was going to the movies and proceeded to go out with friends and get really drunk for the first and last time in my life. Not falling down, throwing up drunk but willing to pee in the parking lot drunk. Not something I ever forgot.
When I was 21, my birthday fell on Mother's Day so after the obligatory lunch with my mother, I went on a road trip with someone I loved and ended up spending a week with my sister. Turned out to be memorable.
When I was 30, I went camping to one of my favorite places on earth with one of my favorite people on earth and he even figured out how to bring ice cream! Turned out really memorable.
When I was 40, I got my first tattoo using money my mother gave me for my birthday. She told me not to get one...real rebel, eh? Permanent memory! My friends also gave a great party for me with a guy juggling fire and everything.
When I was 45, my friends gathered for a celebration of remarkable women and I made grown up goodie bags and loved every minute of it. I'll never forget it because it was 2 weeks before Donnie died.
When I was 50, I wouldn't let anyone do anything since it made me twice the age I thought I would live to be...never thought I would make it past 25! Not sure anyone else did either... Didn't want to push my luck. Another memorable birthday, if not hugely celebrated.
As of 8:41 am today, I am now closer to 60 than 50. Doesn't feel that different than 55. (And Dave said I didn't look a day over 55!!) Was more than a premium day. Found this great barn that had all these state fair ribbons from years past faded to this beautiful lace. Enjoyed my family and friends. Felt loved all day.
This choosing your "family" really works out better for me than the one I got at birth...with a few exceptions! Thanks for all the well wishes, I may do this again...but not for a year at least!
Grace in small things - twice as many!
1. Barns that haven't been torn down for progress
2. A fabulous camera
3. Tender gestures of love
4. Hearing from friends
5. A beautiful day
6. Window shopping that is better than buying
7. Other people's trash=treasures ready for an art project
8. Senses of humor
9. The comfort of memories
10. Bloglandia!!!

Glazed memories

I called home one evening many years ago to ask my mother a question about something I was making. My dad answered the phone, a rare occasion since he was deaf. I said (shouted) Daddy, where is Mama?
Well, he said, Eb and Norma came by last night. You know Norma works at Dunkin' Donuts now? (see I come by it honestly...) and Norma told us all about what they do at the end of the evening when they are closing.
(I'm thinking, where is Mama? I need an answer!!)
And when your Mama heard that they throw out all of the doughnuts at the end of the day, she got upset.
Now not because it was wasteful mind you or that they could have gone into the compost (he was a Master Gardener) or given away.
No siree Bob, it's because she likes glazed donuts. She doesn't like many of the other kind, but the glazed ones, they are her favorite.
So she has had her mouth set for a glazed donut ever since Eb and Norma were here last night.
Daddy, where is Mama? I need to find out something.
He continues on about the different kinds of donuts he likes, pretty much all of them, especially if they have those sprinkle things on them and did I know they can make those sprinkles in just about any flavor? But maple donuts are good too. Did Dunkin' Donut make cake donuts like his mama used to, he wonders...
Daddy, I have to go, I am cooking, I'll call back later.
I thought you wanted to talk to your mama... YES!
Well, your mama has that sweet tooth and she's gone down to visit with Norma...and get herself a dozen glazed donuts.
Glazed donuts will always remind of my mother.
I don't have many good memories of her but at least I have about a dozen and they are glazed...
Here's wishing your Mother's day has a nice glaze to it.

Honest, I have done other things

I know I've done other things. I cleaned the back yard, I remember going to the library and the grocery store.

I know I had lunch with friends.

I have been shopping. I saw a great French film (Paris 36 - really good, want the sound track!!)

I went for a job interview and I think I've done laundry, made meals, gone for walks and talked to friends.

But damn, the only things I took pictures of are things I've cut and sprayed.

I have great plans for finishing them in a variety of ways, but mostly,

I just cut and sprayed, cut and sprayed.

Last week I hated cutting stencils, this week, I can not get enough. I am a happy camper!

There's talk of an intervention...

When you're willing to go out to lunch with old friends with spray paint on your hands...

When the people at the hardware store call you the spray paint queen...

When the landlord leaves notes on the cans of spray paint that say Don't tag the back wall...

When your comment to another blogger is that this image looks like a good mask when it was really great bird image...

When everywhere you look you see something new to cut into a stencil...

It may be time...or not!!