It's just gotta be light

It's just gotta be light! Sunlight, street light, stop light, light headed, should I go on?

Each New Year, my BFF, Becky would choose a word to think about. Becky, a writer; kept a diary, a journal, an illustrated journal and wrote constantly. We met in college in 1972 and I didn’t do that kind of writing, wasn't even a diary kind of girl. I was kinda fascinated by it. She was in love with words. And she taught kids to love words and read and find the power of their own words. She and her husband, Bill wrote a daily journal to each other. It started with love notes when they were “courting” and it continued for the next 29 years. Becky was quick and hilariously funny and very verbal and sometimes her thoughtful, quiet but just as opinionated husband couldn’t get a word in edge wise so he used the journal to win arguments. And to clarify his thoughts. And let her know what he was thinking. And to remind her that he loved her or intended to stay mad for a while. Those journals became an incredible tool when Bill was diagnosed with Alzheimers at 48.

She loved rituals, not in a creepy, scary kind of way but in the”I’ve made the star cookies so we can start to decorate the Christmas tree now” kind of way. So, the few days between Christmas and New Year’s the ritual was to spend time thinking about words and “trying on” different words to see what best suited her life at that moment. She did this as long as I can remember. I've now heard of others doing it over the years, but she was the only one I knew who did this consistantly for a very long time. She would start a new journal for the word and try to get me to get excited and involved as well. I am not as thoughtful/deep/introspective as Becky, I kinda just watched the process and when she pressed me for what my word was going to be, I would blurt out what ever was in my head at the time. Having the attention span of a gnat, I would promptly forget and go on, but not Becky, she would send me quotes and tell me what she had read about..(insert word here). I do remember one year was wonder and I even did a wonder journal as part of a round robin. That was kind of cool. And once it was faith, not like religious but more like leap of… But I do not have volumes of journals showcasing my growth as an individual around a specific concept as she did. There will be no bookcases of journals of day to day life to pass on to my son so he will always know what I thought (not that I ever let him forget of course) but Becky did have those to leave to Britt, Stacey and Josh when she and Bill were killed in November of 2005.

The words in my life for these last 2 years have repeated everything I have been feeling and dealing with since Donnie’s death including loss, abandonment, grief, anger, injustice, acceptance, release, trust and gratitude.

But this year, it’s gotta be LIGHT!! Enlightenment, light the way, be the light, I’m embracing them all! May even start that journal…well, probably not but I am definitely gonna lighten up and shine this year. HNY

PS: while I was typing this, an ad came on TV that said if I text the word LIGHT to some number, my very own personal, AUTHENTIC, physic will text me back to tell me what I have in store for 2008! Cool, less work for me. I can get the whole year revealed for only $19.95 per minute. Must be lots of folks out there willing to pay for light, eh?

PSS: I just read this woman's blog about the Resolution Revolution! Nothing new in the world I tell ya, nothing new...It's a fabulous article. Something Becky would have written...